Women want nothing to do with these ‘low-crunch,’ lady-friendly Doritos
For centuries, women have been demanded to be neither seen nor heard. To ensure this, men have taken to advertising to convince us that women who are quiet and dainty are deemed the most attractive.
Do you chew loudly, or simply chew? Oh, well, that’s not very ladylike or sexy or even necessary. Just drink low-cal kale juice, but don’t get any of that green stuff on your teeth!
Now corporations like PepsiCo want us to believe that it’s women who prefer this quiet method of snacking, and lucky for us gals, they’ve invented the solution to our problems: lady chips.
In an interview with Freakanomics, PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi explained her theory behind the need for chips designed solely for women:
“When you eat out of a flex bag—one of our single-serve bags—especially as you watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom,” she said. “Women would love to do the same, but they don’t. They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers generously and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth.”
It seems that PepsiCo has missed its mark by confusing the millennial woman’s wish for equal rights and fair treatment as a silent cry for less crunchy chips. It’s baffling, considering advertising agencies theoretically spend weeks analyzing consumer research and developing ad campaigns.
Women took to Twitter to point out the ludicrousy of the lady chips to the corporation. (Full disclosure: This particular woman-identifying writer thoroughly enjoys loudly crunching chips and pouring out each and every little crumb from the bag, shamelessly, in public.)
.@Doritos If you're doing "lady-chips," I would love some Cool Ranch infused with Plan B
— Lauren Duca (@laurenduca) February 5, 2018
Doritos will also be marketing “man-friendly” chips that crunch extra loudly so that everyone knows a real MAN is eating. https://t.co/rg7ONYMgOK
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) February 5, 2018
In response to Doritos lady friendly crisps I shall be eating the biggest crisps I can find crunching really loudly burping and carrying a packet of crisps as a handbag
— kate ford (@kateford76) February 5, 2018
— DeAnne Smith (@DeAnne_Smith) February 5, 2018
Has anyone at Doritos ever met a lady
— Danielle Sepulveres (@ellesep) February 5, 2018
women: give us equal pay
the world: look, a KFC female colonel!
women: we said equal pay
the world: doritos won't crunch anymore!!!
women: EQUAL PA-
the world: have you tried "BIC PENS FOR HER"??
— Ali Vingiano (@alivingiano) February 5, 2018
About to sit down and write an angry letter to Doritos. pic.twitter.com/CXEWt1Xb1s
— Molly Hodgdon (@Manglewood) February 5, 2018
Seriously, what in the actual fuck is this nonsense? Men get to burp & fart & scratch their balls and chew their Doritos like a fucking farm animal but we need special, dainty lady-chips so the menfolk aren't put off by the sound of our chewing? https://t.co/PThzgplIM3
— Snake-Filled Head (@TheGodlessMama) February 5, 2018
.@Doritos we've been through enough this year.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) February 5, 2018
Alas, soon these new chips will be marketed to women everywhere. Nooyi promises they will have a “low-crunch, the full taste” profile—but not so much that the flavor sticks to your fingers—and packaged to fit better in a purse. We bet the packaging will be pink, too.